14 Things That Only A Cyclist Could Understand
If you've spent any time in the saddle there's no way you couldn't have experienced most of these.
Making It Through A Close Call Without A Scratch
We've all had them. An almost accident that made out heart race and hands shake. Be careful out there and make sure to wear your helmet.
The Rage You Feel When You Find That Someone Has Locked Up Their Bike Through Yours
This has to be the rudest thing a fellow biker can do. Have a little consideration. Especially for the cyclists that are scared of car doors just like yourself.
Red Lights Only Turn Green After You Unclip
It's just one of those laws of nature. You see a red light in the distance and you slow as you approach it, hoping that it will turn green before you get there. Of course that doesn't happen so you eventually unclip and put your foot down. But the second your foot hits the ground the traffic the light starts to change and you get the green.
The Longer You Ride The Better The Beer Tastes
Hot summer days, brisk fall mornings, it doesn't matter what the weather is like. If your riding hard during the day the beer will taste better in the evening. The longer and harder the ride the more satisfying that first beer is.
"On Your Left" Is Dickhead Code For "I'm Faster Than You"
"On your left" isn't really as polite warning to let you know that there is a stealthy cyclist quickly closing in on you. What they are really saying is "No sudden moves asshole because I'm going to pass you without slowing down!"
You Know You're About To Get Buzzed By A Car Before It Happens
Their a sixth sense that you develop over time. Something about the way air moves around a car when it's going to pass you a littl too closely in just a second. I still can't explain that, but you know what I'm talking about.
And You Use Curses That You Didn't Know You Knew
Right after your fears are confirmed you let forth a string of curses that would make sailors blush and nuns leave the convent.
Leaving Work Early To Ride On That First Beautiful Day Of Spring
The working man is a sucker! Now the person that leaves work early (or doesn't show up at all) to ride 30 miles on the first beariful day of spring; that person has their priorities right and the world by the balls.
One Day A Car Door Will Open And There Will Be No Escape
Cars on the side of the road are a hazard and not because you're going to rear end one. All too often the people in those cars don't check their mirrors before opening the doors and that's where you'll meet your fate. It's just a matter of time.
Cars Parked In The Bike Lane. WTF!!!
The lanes are clearly marked every 50 feet or so that it's a biking lane. You know you're not supposed to park there, not even for a minute. So why do they do it?
Losing The Bet You Made That You Could Squeeze In A Ride Before The Rain
Certain times of the year there is a threat of rain almost every day. But when you feel like heading out for a ride "clouds don't look too bad" just yet and you know you can squeeze in a quick one. Well sometimes Mother Nature has the last laugh.
The Back Of Your Shirt After Getting Caught In The Rain
Dirty shirts aren't just for kids riding through puddles formed from yesterdays rain. If you've been caught in the aforementioned monsoon (because it never just drizzles when you're in the saddle) you have had to come home and throw your clothes right in the washing machine.
And Then Having To Clean Your Bike
That monsoon didn't just wreck your shirt or coat. Your bike is a filthy mess and needs a good bath followed by a lube to keep it in tip top shape.
The Sickening Feeling When You Didn't See That Broken Glass Soon Enough
Oh how we loathe broken glass in the road. Some jerk clearly didn't care and probably laughed when they heard that bottle shatter in the road. And now it's your job to avoid it. Hopefully you did so with hearing that sickening crunch crunch.
Or Horse Poop
Glass is worse but horse poop is pretty bad too. It ends up getting everywhere and if you're really lucky it's on your back too.